Yusuke's List of NoNo's
by VampireApple
Summary: When confronted with a list of things he can't do, Yusuke will always find something he can do.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Yusuke glared at the paper nailed to his door. He assumed it had a list on it. He hadn't gotten past the title, which loudly proclaimed its self in big, bold, _hot pink_, letters Yusuke's List of no-no's!

He knew perfectly well who was behind the list. The assholes, trying to ruin all his fun. He took a black sharpie out of his pocket, intending to vadalize the paper until he saw what was on the next line, in smaller, non-bold _but still hot pink_ letters.

This include marking this paper in any sort of manner or capacity.

"Damnit!"

He might as well get this over with, and read the damn thing.

1. Try and sell Hiei to a circus

2. Try and sell Hiei to a freak show

3. Try and sell Hiei to anyone

4. Make subtle innuendos about Kuwabara's sword

5. Make obvious innuendos about Kuwbara's sword

6. Suggest that Botan is breaking child labor laws by working for Koenma

7. Suggest that Botan is a cougar and Koenma is her cub

8. Making any sort of speculation or comment about any sort of relationship between Botan and Koenma

9. Break Genkai's games

10. Break Genkai's games and blame it on Kurama

11. Play Genkai's games drunk

12. Play Genkai's games naked

13. Play Genkai's games without her permission and/or supervision

14. Switch Hiei's katana for Kurama's rose

15. Suggest that Hiei's hair is compensating for something

16. Suggest that Kurama's hair is compensating for something

17. Give out a picture of Kurama in the shower to girls at his school

18. Give out Kurama's phone number to girls at his school

19. Give out Kurama's home address to girls at his school

20. Go within one mile of Kurama's school, unless the need is dire and they have the permission of Kurama

21. Switch Shizuru's cigarettes with herbal ones

22. Spike Genkia's tea

23. Invite Jin to the human world

24. Invite Chu to the human world

25. Try to see Jin or Chu unsupervised

25. Dress Ichti in a dress

26. Tell Kurama that all the shampoo and conditioner factories exploded

27. Complain that Hiei's hair is too spiky and that it keeps poking him in the eye

28. Dress up as Dracula and try to eat the little kids that annoy in

29. Go to the zoo to 'free all the animals'

30. Go to the zoo to try and give Iechachi back to her family by placing her with the tigers

31. Tell everyone that Botan dyes her hair

32. Tell everyone that Koenma's pacifier is rum flavored

33. Tell Kurama that he has a split ends

34. Try to attach a carrot to Kuwabara's head and tell him that it matches his hair

35. Tell people that he has a hair fetish

36. Convince little children that he can walk on water

37. Take over other demon's territories because he's bored

38. Open a portal to unleash demon's on the human world to fight because he's bored

39. Insist that he's Dirty Harry

40. Quote the 'Do you feel lucky, punk?' part of the Dirty Harry movies before killing his foe

41. Insist that he's the Duke

42. Watch any Clint Eastwood or John Wayne movies

43. Insist he's better the Goku, or any other super sayen with a lengthy rant

44. Take ninja lessons from Jin

45. Try to take over the world (any of them) with Jin

46. Try to take over the world (any of them) by himself

47. Act like a rouge mime

48. Do any sort of cooking that doesn't involve noodles

49. Pull a Jiggilypuff and write on people's faces while they are sleeping

50. Go streaking at anytime in any place

Yusuke pouted at the list. "This is so unfair! For number seven, I didn't suggest it to anyone. I sent a memo. To everyone in Spirit World. And twenty-five, I never put that cat in a dress. It was a stripper costume. Thirty-seven, there's no reason not to do it! I don't care how much paper work that toddler has to do! And forty-nine, come on! Every one was passed out drunk, not asleep. And I never did fourteen! However… it does give me an idea…"

-several hours later at Kurama's house-

Kurama moved up his walkway carrying two brown paper bags full of food. As a force of habit Kurama looked over his garden while he was stepping onto his front porch. He made it to the door before he paused, then walked backwards to look at his prized roses. He stared, his brain not processing what he was seeing.

His prized roses had been painted steal silver.

-at the same time in Hiei's hid-out-

Hiei stretched as he woke from his nap. It had been a very fine nap and he was well rested, ready to go hunting for demon target practice.

He picked up his hand katana and pulled it out of the sheath. He blinked. He knew he cleaned it after his last killing spree… He rubbed at it, blinking again. Shock set in.

His blade had been painted rose red.

-same time, in Yusuke's super secret location-

"YUSUKE!"

The greatest spirit deceive of all time grinned to himself. He'd have to go underground for at least a decade, but it was totally worth it.


End file.
